Many children, especially those with ADHD or anxiety, can often experience their emotions more intensely. For many children, their ability to communicate their emotions is still developing, which can make it difficult for children to manage their emotions. This can lead to frustration, misunderstandings, and challenging behaviors at home, school, or in other social situations.
What is Emotional Regulation?
Emotional regulation is defined as being able to effectively understand, express, and manage our emotions in a way that supports healthy functioning, including in the face of difficult circumstances.
Emotional regulation skills are often learned and begin development in childhood and continue to grow over time into adulthood. Anyone, including both children and adults, can have difficulties regulating their own emotions, which can impact learning, relationships, and overall mental health.
Why Do Some Children Struggle with Big Feelings?
Children’s emotional brains, especially the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for decision making and impulse control, are still in the process of developing and maturing. When strong feelings such as anger or sadness arise, young children may not yet have the words or coping tools to express and deal with these emotions.
Many factors can contribute to difficulties in emotional regulation, including:
- Temperament
- Environmental Influences
- Neurodevelopmental or mental health conditions:
- For example, ADHD, Autism Spectrum Disorder, and anxiety can intensify a child’s emotional experiences and make emotional regulation more challenging.
Common Signs of Emotional Dysregulation in children can include:
- Frequent tantrums or sudden outbursts
- Aggressive behaviors
- Frequent crying or mood changes
- Difficulties calming down strong emotions
- Social withdrawal or avoidance
Why is Emotional Regulation in Children Important?
Regulation is a crucial part of human development and can support a child’s growth and learning throughout life. The development of emotional regulation skills can help children:
- Communicate and resolve conflicts effectively
- Develop and maintain positive relationships
- Improve learning and concentration at school
- Build resilience and coping skills
- Adapt to new situations and transitions
- Make important choices about their behavior at home and school.
Supporting Children with Emotional Regulation
Some children may require more support in learning to understand, express, and regulate their emotions in healthy ways. Parents, caregivers, and teachers can make a big difference by practicing small, everyday strategies to help children learn to express and manage their feelings in a safe way.
Here are some practical tips that support children’s emotional regulation:
- Name the Emotion: Help children put words to their feelings by labeling emotions out loud. For example, “I see you’re feeling really angry right now.” Talking and teaching children to recognize and name their emotions can lay the groundwork over time.
- Model Healthy Coping: Show children how you effectively manage your own emotions, whether it’s taking deep breaths, stepping away for a moment, or talking through your feelings. Emotional regulation can be promoted through modeling and positive and warm interactions with children, which can help expand their coping skills.
- Teach Mindfulness Strategies: simple mindfulness exercises, such as body scans and deep breathing exercises, can be taught and practiced together.
- Use Visual Aids: Emotion charts, feeling faces, or cue cards can help children to learn how to identify their feelings and express what they are feeling.
- Set Boundaries and Routines: Creating stability and consistency through clear routines can help children know their expectations, whether that be at home or school. This can help reduce feelings of overwhelm.
- Create Calm Spaces: Set up a cozy corner with calming tools like soft pillows, sensory toys, or a favorite book where children can take a break when overwhelmed. Engaging the senses through sensory activities such as play-dough, listening to music, or using a weighted blanket can be calming and soothing.
- Celebrate Progress: Praising children when they use words to communicate how they feel or when they use a coping skill can help build a child’s confidence and further promote their growth.
Seeking Support
If you notice that a child frequently struggles to manage their emotions, has prolonged meltdowns, or is experiencing significant anxiety or sadness that interferes with daily life, professional help may be beneficial. Early intervention can make a big difference in a child’s emotional well-being.
Therapy can offer valuable support and can be designed specifically to help children understand and express their emotions in ways that feel safe and manageable. Two evidence-based therapy approaches often used with children are:
- Play-Based Therapy: This therapy approach can be especially effective for younger children or those who find it difficult to talk about their feelings directly. Through guided play, therapists provide children with tools like toys, art supplies, puppets, or games that encourage emotional expression.
- CBT Adapted for Children: Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help children recognize the connection between their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Therapists use a variety of different activities, such as emotion charts, “thought bubbles,” role-playing, and breathing exercises, to teach children how to identify strong emotions, challenge unhelpful thoughts, and learn more adaptive responses.
Both therapy approaches can help provide children with essential skills and coping strategies to improve emotional regulation and overall well-being. If your child struggles to express or manage big feelings, working with a therapist trained in these approaches can make a meaningful difference.
How Our Therapists at Journey Psychology Support Children’s Mental Health
At Journey Psychology, our caring and experienced therapists are dedicated to helping children build strong emotional foundations. We understand that big feelings can sometimes feel overwhelming, and we provide supportive, age-appropriate care that helps children learn healthy ways to cope and thrive.
Through evidence-based approaches, such as Play Therapy and CBT, we help children strengthen their emotional regulation, communication, and confidence in handling life’s challenges. Our therapists also work closely with families to create personalized strategies that support children both at home and at school.
If your child is struggling with emotional regulation, anxiety, or other mental health challenges, reaching out to Journey Psychology can be an important step toward their well-being.
References
- American Psychological Association. (2023). How to help kids understand and manage their emotions. https://www.apa.org/topics/parenting/emotion-regulation
- Blair, C., & Raver, C. C. (2015). School readiness and self-regulation: A developmental psychobiological approach. Annual Review of Psychology, 66, 711–731. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-010814-015221
- Kendall, P. C., & Hedtke, K. A. (2006). Cognitive-behavioral therapy for anxious children: Therapist manual (3rd ed.). Workbook Publishing.
- Landreth, G. L. (2012). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (3rd ed.). Routledge.
- National Scientific Council on the Developing Child. (2010). Persistent fear and anxiety can affect young children’s learning and development (Working Paper No. 9). Center on the Developing Child, Harvard University. https://developingchild.harvard.edu
