Let’s be real: the holidays aren’t always warm, cozy, or joyful. For many, Thanksgiving can feel like stepping into a minefield of unsolicited advice, invasive questions, or emotional landmines disguised as small talk.
And while pumpkin pie helps, it doesn’t quite cut through the anxiety.
If you’re already rehearsing how to dodge your aunt’s opinions or preparing to bite your tongue over political commentary at the dinner table; you’re not alone. At Journey Psychology, we help people every year navigate holiday stress, family dynamics, and boundary-setting; without guilt.
This year, let’s talk about how to have those awkward but necessary conversations so you can protect your peace and your relationships.
Why Holiday Gatherings Can Feel So Stressful
Even in the closest families, holiday dynamics often stir up:
- Old roles we thought we’d outgrown (hello, “quiet sibling” or “peacemaker”)
- Unresolved tension or unspoken resentments
- Pressure to perform, smile, and “keep the peace”
- Guilt for wanting space or time alone
And in places like Sherwood Park, where many families stay rooted in the same community for years, these patterns can feel especially hard to shift.
If you’ve ever left a gathering feeling emotionally drained, misunderstood, or like your boundaries were bulldozed; this blog is for you.
What Does “Setting Boundaries with Family” Actually Look Like?
Contrary to what you might think, setting boundaries isn’t about confrontation; it’s about clarity. It means knowing what you’re okay with, what you’re not, and how to communicate that without being cruel or cold.
Examples of real-life holiday boundaries:
- “I’m happy to catch up, but I don’t want to talk about my relationship status.”
- “I’d love to stay for dinner, but I’ll be heading home early tonight.”
- “Let’s skip politics this year and keep it light, okay?”
- “Thanks for offering advice, but I’ve got it handled.”
Boundaries protect your mental health; and done right, they also protect your relationships.
Why Are Boundaries So Hard with Family?
Because they bring up emotions like:
- Guilt (“I don’t want to hurt their feelings”)
- Fear (“They’ll think I’m selfish or dramatic”)
- Obligation (“They’ve always done so much for me”)
And because many families still operate under unspoken expectations like:
- “We don’t talk about that.”
- “You should just go along with it.”
- “This is just how our family is.”
But the truth? Families grow healthier when individual boundaries are respected.
That’s why therapy; especially Solution-Focused Therapy (SFT) can be so powerful during the holidays.
5 Tips to Set Boundaries with Family This Holiday Season
1. Start With Clarity
You can’t communicate a boundary you haven’t defined. Ask yourself:
- What’s felt uncomfortable or draining at past gatherings?
- What would help you feel more grounded this year?
2. Communicate Before You Show Up
If you anticipate tension, don’t wait until you’re already seated at the table.
Send a simple text or have a calm chat beforehand:
“Just a heads-up: I’m skipping the politics this year. Let’s keep things light!”
3. Use “I” Statements
This keeps the focus on your needs, not their behavior.
- “I need to take a quick walk to clear my head.”
- “I’m not comfortable discussing that right now.”
4. Anticipate Pushback (and Breathe Through It)
Not everyone will love your boundaries, especially if it’s new for them.
That’s okay. Discomfort ≠ wrong. You can be kind and firm.
5. Schedule Recovery Time
Even with strong boundaries, family time can be draining. Plan something nurturing afterward; a walk, journaling, time with chosen family, or a quiet evening.
Journey Psychology Is Here to Support You
Located in the heart of Sherwood Park, our compassionate team offers therapy tailored to your needs including:
- SFT for family issues and communication challenges
- CBT to work through guilt and people-pleasing
- DBT for emotion regulation during high-stress gatherings
- ACT to stay rooted in your values through discomfort
Whether you’re navigating in-laws, setting new traditions, or just trying not to lose yourself at the dinner table; we’re here to help. Family and boundaries don’t have to be opposites. You can care for others and protect your peace.
If you’re ready to approach this holiday season with more confidence, clarity, and calm; let’s talk. Book a free 15-minute consultation with one of our therapists today.
You’re allowed to enjoy the holidays without emotional whiplash. Let’s make that your new tradition.
